When I first became attracted to the spiritual path as a young college student in the late sixties, there were certain images in my mind of what I thought enlightenment would give me. As an enlightened being I imagined I would be "me" only with all the unwanted aspects of my personality corrected. And, having access to the limitless intelligence of the universe, I would of course be brilliant. Best of all, I would be catapulted into a radiant existence, a heaven on earth, totally apart and protected from the disgusting, violent, selfish world I perceived all around me.

After more than a quarter of a century had passed - consumed in intense practice of meditation and yoga, fasting, study, long retreats in foreign lands, and years of service to an Indian teacher--I began to wonder, why hadn't enlightenment happened? Why hadn't my personality been fixed? Why, by now, didn't my life look like I imagined it should look? There seemed to be a missing piece in my spiritual repertoire, but what? I had done all my practices so devotedly, for so long.

Then, in the Spring of 1995, I was sitting in a lecture hall at a Unitarian Church in Boulder, Colorado, waiting for a talk to begin. I had been brought there by a friend and knew nothing about the meeting that was about to happen or the speaker. Presently, a woman about my own age entered the room from a side door and approached the platform. I had never seen her before and knew nothing about her. Yet as I listened to her speaking with quiet authority: "You are already free. You are are already that which you seek", my mind stopped. The world stopped. The whole idea of "me" stopped. There was nothing. For some 72 hours or more, there was simply nothing. No questions. No meditation. No meditator. No enlightenment. No ignorance. No "me." In all the 26 years of practicing and searching that had never happened before. There had always been a someone searching, someone experiencing. Now there was only silence. Naturally, I wanted to know who this teacher was who had the power to stop the world and reveal the silence that is always present. People called her Gangaji. Teacher. Even guru. But I heard her say, "I am your own Self." And this was the answer that rang true.

Looking back on that powerful first meeting, it is clear that the essence of the message of this lineage from Sri Ramana Maharshi, and from Sri H.W. Poonjaji, was somehow conveyed that night in the Unitarian Church. Not heard, not understood, but conveyed as direct experience from heart to heart. "Be still, and know who you are." From heart to heart is the only way that this message can be conveyed. It cannot be captured by the mind. Though attempts will be made to capture it that way. After that miraculous meeting, the book, Surprised By Grace, was written in an attempt to express the mystery of what takes place in a moment of Grace, in a moment of meeting oneself heart to heart.

Amber has a Bachelor's degree in Philosophy and Religious Studies, and a Master's degree in Education, both from the University of California at Chico. She has served on the Board of Directors of the Gangaji Foundation, and the Board of Directors of the River Ganga Foundation.

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