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When
I first became attracted to the spiritual path as a young college
student in the late sixties, there were certain images in my mind
of what I thought enlightenment would give me. As an enlightened
being I imagined I would be "me" only with all the unwanted aspects
of my personality corrected. And, having access to the limitless
intelligence of the universe, I would of course be brilliant. Best
of all, I would be catapulted into a radiant existence, a heaven
on earth, totally apart and protected from the disgusting, violent,
selfish world I perceived all around me.
After
more than a quarter of a century had passed - consumed in intense
practice of meditation and yoga, fasting, study, long retreats in
foreign lands, and years of service to an Indian teacher--I began
to wonder, why hadn't enlightenment happened? Why hadn't my personality
been fixed? Why, by now, didn't my life look like I imagined it
should look? There seemed to be a missing piece in my spiritual
repertoire, but what? I had done all my practices so devotedly,
for so long.
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Then,
in the Spring of 1995, I was sitting in a lecture hall at
a Unitarian Church in Boulder, Colorado, waiting for a talk
to begin. I had been brought there by a friend and knew nothing
about the meeting that was about to happen or the speaker.
Presently, a woman about my own age entered the room from
a side door and approached the platform. I had never seen
her before and knew nothing about her. Yet as I listened to
her speaking with quiet authority: "You are already
free. You are are already that which you seek",
my mind stopped. The world stopped. The whole idea of "me"
stopped. There was nothing. For some 72 hours or more, there
was simply nothing. No questions. No meditation. No meditator.
No enlightenment. No ignorance. No "me."
In all the 26 years of practicing and searching that had never
happened before. There had always been a someone searching,
someone experiencing. Now there was only silence. Naturally,
I wanted to know who this teacher was who had the power to
stop the world and reveal the silence that is always present.
People called her Gangaji. Teacher. Even guru. But I heard
her say, "I am your own Self." And this was the answer that
rang true.
Looking
back on that powerful first meeting, it is clear that the
essence of the message of this lineage from Sri Ramana Maharshi,
and from Sri H.W. Poonjaji, was somehow conveyed that night
in the Unitarian Church. Not heard, not understood, but conveyed
as direct experience from heart to heart. "Be still,
and know who you are." From heart to heart is the
only way that this message can be conveyed. It cannot be captured
by the mind. Though attempts will be made to capture it that
way. After that miraculous meeting, the book, Surprised
By Grace, was written in an attempt to express the
mystery of what takes place in a moment of Grace, in a moment
of meeting oneself heart to heart.
Amber has a Bachelor's degree in Philosophy and Religious
Studies, and a Master's degree in Education, both from the
University of California at Chico. She has served on the Board
of Directors of the Gangaji Foundation, and the Board of Directors
of the River Ganga Foundation.
Phone
consultation with Amber, $35 for half hour, $70 for an hour.
Please contact orders@truelightmusic.com
or 303 447-3023 to arrange time.
AMBER
SOMETIMES ACCEPTS INVITATIONS
TO SPEAK/SING AT BOOKSTORES, CHURCHES AND OTHER
GATHERINGS.
Inquire at amber@ambersatsang.com
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